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"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

How do you tease fruit?Banananananananana!

Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?Because it makes you break out!

Why did the baby strawberry cry?Because his parents were in a jam!

What did the hamburger name his daughter?Patty!

What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?A stomach-cake!

Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?Because he wasn't very hungry.

what did the carpet say to the floor?"You go ahead I'll cover you

What is a computer's favorite dance?Disk-o

Why did the little boy put lipstick on his head?He wanted to make up his mind!

What kind of ship never sinks?Friendship!

Teacher: You copies from Fred's exam paper didn't you? Pupil: How did you know? Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

'Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens''

The teacher shouted angrily, 'Teacher: if you think you are an idiot then stand up, now!' Student stands up. ''why do you think you are an idiot?'' “I am not an idiot, miss, but I felt weird because you were the only one standing!

A teacher saw one of his students is sleeping in the class. He said to another student to wake him up. Another student: Sir, you put him to sleep, so you better wake him up.

Grammar Teacher: Sam, can you tell me any 2 pronouns? Sam: Who, me? Teacher: Good answer Sam.

Question: What has legs but cannot walk? Answer: A table. Question: Which tables don't have legs? Answer: Multiplication Tables

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